18th century Internet

Most of the following were written ages ago as part of a Twitter hashtag game (if you don’t know what that is, just forget I said it). If you want to see this sort of thing done with much greater skill on a daily basis, follow @DrSamuelJohnson.

  • Prithee, rest here awhile, and allow me to consult with Mr Google in your stead.
  • Wherefore the clamour regarding Mr Jobs’ latest novelty? ‘Tis but its elder sister clad in more voluminous skirts.
  • The later dramas of Mr Lucas are works of folly and can only serve to blacken the reputation of their forebears.
  • I grow tired of Mr Psy’s musical travesty. Whatever small amusements it once offered have long since vanished into the ether.
  • Does some semblance of automaton dwell within thee? Prove thyself fully human by the unravelling of these cyphers.
  • Sir, your pamphlet has confounded me by virtue of its sheer dimensions; hence, I have not considered it in full.
  • Many men shall pass judgment on the afore-going treatise, but mine own is the inaugural appraisal.
  • Your enjoyment of the entertainment in question leaves me in no doubt, sir, that you are wont to lie with men. I bid you good day.

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