Things I heard myself saying to my daughters this week

‘You can’t eat it. It’s a stick. Not food. NOT FOOD. PUT IT DOWN.’

‘No, I don’t know why Daddy has hair in his ears.’

‘Stop kicking your sister in the face!’

‘You do like toast. I know you do. I’VE SEEN YOU EATING IT.’

‘You can stop helping now. Please. STOP HELPING.’